A Story...

Around 7 pm last Monday I received SMS from my brother, informing me that my cousin has passed away. It comes as a great shock to me, as my cousin is only 20 years old and he was healthy. Apparently, according to his parents, he had an on-off fever for almost 2 weeks already and he had gone to clinics and hospital. Those stupid doctors told him there's nothing wrong with him and his fever is stress related because he was having his final exam at that time. They ignored the fact that he was complaining of joints and muscles pain and his fever had been more than a week. In fact they accused the mom as 'memandai-mandai' when the mom asked for a blood test.

The first time the parents brought him to the emergency section at the hospital, it took the stupid doctors and nurses 3 hours to attend to him, regardless the fact that this boy was so pale and cannot move. They only attended to him when the mom called her friend who worked as a nurse at the same hospital. Only then they attended to him. And when the doctor check his blood pressure, it was about 140/49, and still they didn't admit him and just gave him some medications and asked him to go back. When the parents asked what was wrong with him, the stupid asshole who called himself a doctor said that it is stress related.

The second time the parents brought him to the hospital (on the day he died), the same thing happened, they have to wait for 2 hours despite the fact that my cousin's body has turned bluish and red spots had already appeared on his body. Only then they admitted him and did a blood test, which was way too late already. When my cousin cried in pain and keep moaning, they scolded him and accused him of being 'manja'. They also restrained him and tied his hands and legs, with an excuse that they have to do that since he struggled when they tried to insert a microscopic camera into his body. Asshole! What did they expect?! The boy was already miserable with painful joints and high fever, and they just want him to lay still while the abused his body?!!

When he died, blood already came out from his pores. But, the saddest part is, the hospital didn't want to admit their fault and declared his death as caused by lung failure, when everybody who saw his body knew that it was dengue. Even those with medical background also said it was dengue but the hospital chose to cover it up, fearing action because of their negligence and malpractice. I told my uncle to take action against the hospital but my action doesn't want to because he said what's done is done, it cannot bring his son back. But then, if we don't bring it up, they will do it to other people also, other people's son, daughter, husband, father, mother, wife. I told him it's ok if he doesn't want to take legal action, but please do something, at least send a complaint letter to the ministry. He just nodded his head and walked away. He is still mourning the sudden death of his son, I cannot blame him. Perhaps later I'll send a complaint letter. But if I disclose that it is dengue, most probably they want to do post mortem and want to excavate the body, it will open up again my aunt and uncle's wound.

It's shattering to lose somebody so suddenly. And the fact that the last I saw him was last year, during Raya Puasa. He was chirpy, funny and happy go lucky like always. This year, I didn't managed to see him, I only went back to Kelantan during Raya Haji and he didn't come to my house then. And I didn't stopped by at their house when in fact, I have to pass through Kuala Krai to reach KB. I take for granted to visit them, telling myself that I'll see them at my granny's house. It sadden me to know that I missed the opportunity to get to know my late cousin better, and now he no longer there.

So far, three people that I know died at young age. My classmate died of accident at the tender age of 18, my best friend's brother died because of accident at the age of 21 and I was the one who identified his body and now my cousin died at the age of 20. These deaths teach me that life is too precious to waste. We never know when death will visit us next. They teach me that love should be spoken and shown or else you will miss the chance to tell those whom matters to you that you love them. It teach me that it never too late or to shameful to say that I'm sorry, to admit my mistakes and salvage a broken relationship.

I hope I'll have the chance to do all that, to tell you, you and you that I love you, I care for you, I always remember you and that I'm sorry. Sorry for not always being there for you, sorry for not always keeping in touch, sorry for not calling you enough, sorry for not spending my time with you, sorry for my occasional emotional outburst, sorry for my irritations at you, sorry for whatever differences that drew us apart and sorry for not loving you enough...